40

So what you’re sayin’ is…

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Two weeks to go.  Two weeks left in the 30s club.  Two weeks to lose more than those pesky five pounds that I can lose for every important weekend (Halloween, concert, etc.) but that find their way back after a couple of days of Indian food, wings, pizza, and no (seriously, no) exercise.  Two weeks to be where I want to be when I have to say that I’m 40.

Way back in my late 20s and early 30s, I ran the Austin half-marathon every year.  Every year my M.O. was completely different.  But one year, I created a playlist on a borrowed iPod.  I made sure I had two hours and 35 minutes of music on it – because I knew I better not take longer than that.  I alphabetized the playlist, and I estimated what song I should be hearing at each mile marker.  Knowing my alphabet would be a skill that would help me figure out if I was ahead or behind my targeted finish time.  I probably should have spent this valuable time actually training, but this was so much more fun.  The coolest thing ever – that I could not have predicted – was that I ended up rounding the corner of the capital building with the finish line in sight as The Eagles encouraged me to take it to the limit one more time.  Tears welling up in my eyes, arms and fists pounding as if I knew how to play the drums…Sing that intro in your head – yes, it was that beautiful.

I’ve scheduled my life out in little increments.  I’ve set goals based on high school reunions, weddings, vacations, milestone birthdays – goals that included weight (usually based on pre-determined outfits), career changes, degrees earned…where I wanted to be at what point, and how to know if I was ahead of or behind the deadline (or the curve, now I see).

Now, with this little adventure I started with this blog, I’m looking around at my life as it is, and something just occurred to me.  I was really down on myself last night because I haven’t been as hell-bent of a go-getter toward this self-employment thing as I am when I’m blogging more – which is usually when I’m unsettled about something – which is usually when change occurs.  I thought to myself (and out loud to my hot husband), “I’ve had all this time to do more toward my goal, and now that I’m all happy with my job and stuff, I haven’t done anything.” (pout)

How pathetic am I?  Complaining that my life is so great that I haven’t done anything to change it, and woe is me…I’m going to turn 40 with my life so great that I don’t want to change it…Waaahh!

I’m certainly not trying to brag (though I do have the best husband, kids, a house that I love to be in, a job that right now is my dream job, and wonderful family and friends, by the way), but I think I’ve been so caught up wanting to do something heroic and remarkable, that I’d lost sight of what the picture looks like right. now.  It’s like finishing my half-marathon with Take it to the Limit, but thinking about how much cooler the Wonder Woman Theme Song would be.  YOU’RE AHEAD OF THE SCHEDULE, WOMAN!  Quichyer bitchin!

(Wonder Woman is 64.)

fat-wonder-woman