I’m realizing how weird – and wonderful – it is to write to an imaginary audience. I imagine that there are thousands of you out there, waiting with bated breath on my next post…dying to hear the next chapter of my melodrama…discussing it with your friends…
In reality, I’m pretty sure my only visitors have been my lifelong best friend (Hi, Kendra 🙂 and my mother (Hi, Mom 🙂 And yet, I write as if there are throngs of middle-aged mothers looking for direction for the next step in the quest for liberation from “the man”, or the ones who simply know they’ll just live vicariously through me on my journey to the dream job. My hot husband thinks I’ll be on a talk show one day and I’ll get to share these initial posts with all the bandwagoners, due to the Oprah effect of course, and these preliminary posts will matter.
So for all of you future inspired spouse-employer-covered-benefit moms…here’s the development of the drama since we last parted:
Yesterday I missed being a teacher on the first day of school. I watched teachers get hugs from last years’ students, and today I passed through hallways of sweet, deodorized, obedient children who all love their teachers still. The first week of school is the worst and the best for everyone. Then I sat in an office with my boss for six hours, chomping away at a to-do list – but I didn’t quit my job yesterday. (I feel like I deserve a treat any day that I don’t quit my job now. Today it was homemade cheesecake.)
Today was a whole lot more of what I love – team meetings, conversing with teachers, looking for needs to supply, teachers to support, and students to serve. But then I came home and took my pent-up frustration and loss of control out on my daughter and my hot husband. And now I feel like a terrible person.
SOLUTION: Start working on my “what I have to do to quit my job” list. My hot husband is at band rehearsal, I don’t have any piano students or painting orders this week, so I shall write. I’m getting out my yellow legal pad and my favorite pen, and I’m going to sketch out the ideas for a children’s book that have been swirling around in my head for almost 10 years now. My beloved grandmother’s 90th birthday is in exactly one month, and since she’s a part of the story, what better gift to give her.
Adios, my people. I must go and write now. You may feel abandoned at the moment, but when you purchase my book for your children and nieces and nephews, you’ll be glad I left the blog world to bury myself deep in the craft of changing lives. Until tomorrow… (or whenever I make it back on here).